The Fabric of Existence Will Be Destroyed

Well, I fucked up again. It always happens and I can't do anything about it. So we met this someone and I just wanted to make things a little bit right and what happened next was not what I'd expect it to be. I feel like I'm making all of the things around me worse. Of course they are still my friends but they just say that because they pity me and if I didn't have them, I'd be nothing. I was just forcing them to be my friends. Maybe I don't deserve them at all. Well you have the right to be mad, it's totally okay with me. Forgiveness may come but you can't just give that every time I mess up. I have always been pestering you each time I had the chance and you just came back as if nothing happened. I've done things in the past you did not really like. Maybe this time you and I may want to end it. Don't lose hope in attending fun stuff that you like just because of this. Clearly it was my fault, all mine. I was hasty and I know waste comes next. What I wanted to do was help or make it fun for you. I can't do that for myself so I do it for other people. And in the process of doing it, I end up making it worse for you and anyone else that I did good things to. You could probably say that I wasn't really a good friend to anyone I meet. Not only to you but to others as well and just whatever.